I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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