so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
