She is in my trunk
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize