that's an acceptable place to lick
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
