there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
