is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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