Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
