and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
