David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
