My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
