Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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