Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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