If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
