we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i already hear my dad disowning me
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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