But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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