i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
