just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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