Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Fuck appropriateness.
smell my finger.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
