you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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