In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
