do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
