As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
