Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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