Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
