2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
