just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
