It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
