You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
