So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
