An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
