Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize