oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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