so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
