So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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