Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize