Nicole vs. Life
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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