Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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