Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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