she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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