So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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