I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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