When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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