Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
