If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
