Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
