I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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