Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
