oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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