Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
