I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
