she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
