You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
