girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sext me about skeletons
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
