The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
