Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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