i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize
