But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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