her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
