he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
