Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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