i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
